Thursday, June 29, 2006
here's my issue.
i want to put food on the table.
i've had it with being empty.
to the point of not even having enough to eat.
yes, i've said once,
i dont mind being a struggling artist.
but not at a stage where i can't even get to eat.
perhaps. just perhaps.
if it is like what they all say about me.
then, no matter what, it's just when i strike out?
but this is a rare opportunity.
i definitly am agreeing on that.
but this is not how i've envisioned things to be!
everything's spiralling way way way out of control!
i dont know what's gonna even happen tmr.
it's just like for once.
i've got on one hand, a route of stability.
i know there'll be food and even savings.
yes, perhaps mundane. but still.
on another, a route of adventure and risks.
this maybe of bigger returns in time to come.
hardship is not an issue to me.
i'm numbed to it.
perhaps i'm too afraid.
lack of confidence, so they say.
but no one, in the past 3 yrs,
ever looked at my work and go, "rocking!".
everything i hear from my beloveds,
makes me think it's just them patronising.
it's hard to believe.
what will i decide?
i can't! i friggin' cant!
i wish i had a family that could support me.
even just morally.
perhaps, i should rent out my current room,
in exchange for some funding.
who wants a housemate?
christy the great.
i like nonsense
i love tangle
