christy

Saturday, December 03, 2005

i feel like:

i feel like a bumble bee.
i feel like a lost child.
i feel like a beggar.
i feel like a druggy.
i think i'm a novice clown.

i'm feeling awfully upset, annoyed and completely helpless today.
it wasn't too fantastic a day.
but i did work. loads and many of that.
which is, supposedly, good. i suppose?

i can't help but noticing and digging my own grave.
filling it up with dirt. sheer literal dirt.

i don't seem to be doing things right.
as expected.
by me, by all.

i drag home, lugging disgust and mist.
tilting higher, i see houses with dazzling lights.
homes with merry-makers.
homes with running light round plastic green chunks.
tilting higher, i hear houses with movements.
homes with a voice calming his young doll
homes with barks and purrs.

i crank the metals.
conciously having to ease myself in.
blank cements. tainted with emptiness.
tilting lower, the water trickles with fornication and maslow.
twirling round, with no use.
i hit the floor.

2weeks&1day.
that was that.
then was then.
what will come now?
is this what they call joy?

\\takemehome;; wont you please?

9:35 PM
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